When it comes to debates on sex and gender, I sometimes wonder whether there’s any point in my side trying to be calm, empathetic or reasonable. It’s not that these are bad qualities to have. It’s just that they seem to annoy opponents all the more.

Express a view that’s extreme, cruel or irrational, and it may well fly under the radar (especially if you are male). Your critics may even feel grateful that you are “proving them right” — without their having to defend their own position. By contrast, a woman who is well-informed, measured and compassionate constitutes a very particular sort of menace, and she is deserving of a very particular sort of punishment.