Even Travis Kelce’s shuckin’ and grinnin’ for Pfizer can’t save these shots. People know they don’t stop infection, they know the side effects are often brutal, and they don’t want them.

RIP, mRNA.

The once-heralded vaccine biotechnology officially died last week after a long illness. Maybe myocarditis or Type 1 diabetes. Could have been a shingles infection. Or possibly just a mix of uselessness and nasty side effects.

Dr. Mandy Cohen, the director of the Centers for Disease Control, accidentally announced mRNA’s passing on Friday on X (aka Twitter). Wearing a blue dress and her trademark vapid smile, Dr. Cohen admitted barely 1 out of 50 Americans have received the new mRNA Omicron booster.

Hours later, Pfizer confirmed the death, saying it will write off nearly $1 billion in mRNA jab inventory because of weak demand. Pfizer expects the market for shots to be one-third smaller than it predicted just weeks ago – though its new estimate still appears too high.

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